panicking...who's panicking?? ...I am.

So, CityLights (the summer internship I've been a part of) is over. I've moved into a temporary living situation, I'm applying to student teach here in St. Louis, I'm leaving for Iowa in a week and a half and need to find housing for when I return a week later...

AAAHHHH!!!!

...whew. okay, deep breath. I was telling a woman who was here from Dallas, TX chaperoning a high school youth group team a little about my journey & story in St. Louis. She was so excited for me, being young & she said I'd be alright because I seemed to be someone who really trusts the Lord. Truth is...I do trust Him, but this is still hard. It's like a daily, hourly, no maybe minutely choice to put my trust in Him...that He's going to take care of me & all the thousands of details that need to be worked out in the next couple of weeks...like travel, housing, finances... I suppose it all comes down to whether or not I will believe that He is good. I mean, my head believes it - at least on some level - but my head believes a lot of things that my heart struggles to believe.

Panic attacks are good for you.

Less than two months til the move. I'm only getting a little terrified. Unless I start thinking about it, and then the full-fledged panic attack sets in.

But... on the other hand, I can't wait to go. Lots to get done before I do, and most will be scarier than really scary stuff, but going out there, where there's a chance of getting gunned down in the street or running out of money and being forced to live off uncooked ramen, is better than staying here. My time at Cafe Shi was mostly great, but it's time to move on. My time at home has been mostly great, but it's time to move on.

It's time... to become a valley girl.

You know, except for the hair tossing and giggling.